Where do I start?

I have been thinking a lot lately about all these thoughts that are going round in my head, thinking well maybe I should write it down, clear my head, get it all off my chest, even if no one reads it, surely I'll feel better! Well if you are reading this thank you for being the one!!

I am 37, have 2 boys ages 16 and 11, newly married, 16 stone 5lbs, size 22 and I've been on a diet since I was 14.

Why was I on a diet when I was 14 and a size 12? I'd give anything to be back there...wow! a size 12. As I look back on it now, I may still be a size 12 if I hadn't gone down the dieting path. I'm so big now because I followed a diet lost a little weight then because the diet wasn't maintainable went back to regular eating and BAM!! Weight comes back on plus more, its a constant game of 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, I'm going nowhere fast, it is infuriating, frustrating, annoying but I'm not a failure! Apparently!........Well that's what the diet books say...you know the ones that tell you not to diet as they don't work and then continue to tell you what diet you need to follow in order to not be on a diet!!!!!! The one that tells you, its the diet that failed not you.....OH REALLY!!!! Then how come there is photographic evidence that the diet works??? Huh!!!! Mrs Blatch from Crawley lost a whole person when she used the diet. IF DIETS DON'T WORK WHY DO THEY WORK FOR EVERYONE BUT ME???????